worldsdumbestfandomcom-20200213-history
Worlds Smartest Inventions 10 transcript
man: You're about to be mesmerized. all: Fushigi. narrator: We're going to blow you away... with 20 of the most amazinginventions ever seen on TV.woman: It's revolutionary.narrator: From productsyou can get behind...man: It's called My *** Belt.narrator: ... to discoveriesthat will blow your mind.man: ( speaking Korean )Ace Power.narrator: Plus, wannaknow what this thing's for ?You won't believe it.Featuring inventive insightfrom our infamous cast.Leif: Thank freakin' God !narrator: And if you watchright now, we'll throw intwo bonus inventions.woman: Two bonus inventions ?What a ( bleep ) great deal !narrator: truTV presents..."World's Smartest Inventions."And it all starts...( commentator whistling )... now.woman: Down, boy.( toilet flushing )Closed Captions Provided by truTVnarrator: Our countdown beginsat night-night time.announcer: If your child'safraid of the dark, the wholefamily loses sleep.You could use a nightlight,but here's something that's fun.Give them a pillow,a pillow that lights up.It's the Bright Light Pillow.It's a real pillowthat lights up.Billy: My kid used to be afraidof the dark and nowhe's afraid of his pillow.announcer: Its 24 LED lightsprovide soothing perfect lightfor 15 minutes, and thenautomatically shuts itself off.Chuck: Quite frankly, I don'tlose sleep over my kidshaving nightmares.That's a mommy job.announcer: Bright Light Pillowsare available in two fun shapes:the pink beating heart withpulsing red LED lights,and the starlight square.man: Oh, what's wrong,little guy, scared of the dark ?Here, have a glowingdemon heart.Parenting is easy.announcer: Your Bright LightPillow changes colorsautomatically-- from red, blue,white, green, yellow.It's a light show in a pillow.But the Bright Light Pillowis not just for little kids.man: Ooh, I love takingecstasyand rubbing soft thingsthat light up.Whoa...I didn't know you weregonna be home so soon.Go to your room.Oh, I mean, I'll get outof your room.Sorry.announcer: You can call now toget your very ownBright Light Pillow for 19.99.Chelsea: But that's one pennyless than the ridiculouslyhigh price of $20.announcer: Must be 18 or olderto order.Here's how to get yours.Jared: Having a hard timesleeping ?Make it impossiblewith Bright Lights.Terry: Hi, I'm Terry.And like most of you moms,I find laundry to bea never-ending chore.woman: Hi, I'm Terry.I hate laundry, which is whyI'm dressed like Bea Arthurright now.Terry: And doing socks,they're the worst.No matter how hard I try,I always lose one.It's like someone wants me towaste more time trying tofind that lost sock.man: Oh, that's actually me.I want you to waste more timewith that sock.I'm Kevin, nice to meet you.Terry: Doing laundry would beso much less frustrating ifI never had to worry aboutsorting or matchingmy family's socks.( groaning )man: Oh, yeah, does this onego with this one ?I don't even know any more !I'm gonna burn the wholehouse down !Terry: Then one day,it came to me.The solution to this mysteryof lost socks-- a snap.Now laundry's a snapwith Pair-A-Keets.Just like the birds themselves,they keep their mate forever.man: They're called Pair-A-Keets'cause of the word "pair" in it.The "keets" doesn't mean( bleep ).announcer: They come out ofthe dryer just the waythey went in, as a pair.The snap is strategically placedto be hidden and comfortable.Brad: That's the invention.announcer: IntroducingPair-A-Keets.The Pair-A-Keet trademarksecret is a single snapthat allows you, your husband,your children,to simply snap your sockstogether before putting themin the laundry basket.woman: Really, Terry ?You think my kids are gonna( bleep ) snap their( bleep ) socks together ?announcer: Kids love them too.And they feel like they'reactually helping Mom.Terry: I used to hate cominginto this laundry room.But not any more.Laundry's a snapwith Pair-A-Keets.Chelsea: If you like shortcutsthat definitely take a lotlonger, you'll lovePair-A-Keet.narrator: And now the Koreanexercise craze that bringsthe power of horseback ridingright into your living room.man: Ace Power.man: Horseback riding:it's great exerciseand strengthens your lower body.But come on, everyone,let's face it,who can afford it ?Am I right ?woman: Now anybody canworkout easily at any time.Introducing Ace Power,the horseback riding machine.Leif: I was gonna tryPilates, but that was beforeI found out that ***counts as cardio.man: It's just likehorseback riding.It's easy, funand very exciting.Brad: Any more excitingand you're gonna have tobuy that thing dinner.man: It's just likedrawing a figure eight.Billy: It's just like drawinga figure eight, uh...with a magic markerstuck up your butt.man: So now you know,horseback position isgreat exercise.woman: However, it isvery difficult to dothe position, right ?Kevin: Was she trying to ridean invisible horse ?I think she might havebigger problems.man: It is simple.You can put yourself intoa horseback riding positionjust by sitting on the machine.As you go up and down, you canfeel the full force on yourthighs, hips, abdomenand even sphincter.woman: Finally, an answer formy weak sphincter.man: Abs, butt, coochie...Ace Power tightens it all.♪♪man: My wife always used toturn away from me.It would upset me very muchand I would stay out late.However, now thingshave changed.It's funny.Why ?I can't tell you.It's funny.Anyway, she isa different person now.It's really funny.Dan: She probably has a frownyface 'cause she's hearing thatcreepy laugh all the time.( man laughing )I wouldn't ( bleep ) him either.( man laughing )announcer: Home horseback ridingwith Ace Power.man: Ace Power !Mike T.: Man, their workoutequipment sure looks stupid.Now where was I ?( man laughing )narrator: Coming up, the perfectchest for the Wild West.And all of the fun,none of the sun.Plus, can this ringsave your marriage ?woman: When you say, "'Til deathdo us part," you mean it.narrator: Find out when"World's Smartest Inventions"continues.♪♪narrator: Our countdowncontinues at number 17 with aninvention that's bothintimate and deadly.announcer: Does this womanlook dangerous ?How 'bout now ?Or now...or now ?Mike T.: Stop or my ***will shoot.announcer: It's The Flashbang.Mike B.: That sounds likea *** movie that's too fast.announcer: Being fashionablemakes it difficult for womento carry concealed.Now women can dress how theywant, carry concealed,and have a fast response time.Jared: You know, in the past,it was hard for a lady to befashionable and be a murderer.Kevin: I really don't understandthe strategy of hiding a gunwhere most dudesare looking anyway.announcer: The Flashbang securesto the center of your bra.Tuck the nose and the handleof the pistol under the wireand you're set.Loni: Who needsa Flashbang bra ?I got my girls.Jaime: No offense to me,but I don't thinkI could hide anygun under these.announcer: When you need yourgun, just pull downon the handle.Chelsea: Ooh, please let itcatch on her stomach piercing.announcer: It's easy.Chelsea: Damn it.announcer: The Flashbang cancarry several types:38s, 380sand other small pistols.With The Flashbang, there isno need for baggy clothingor a purse.man: Excuse me, ma'am,federal *** inspector.Now for the safety of everybodyhere, I'm gonna have to takea look at your fun bags.announcer: Ladies, take the gunout of your purse and carry iton your person.The Flashbang-- revolutionizingconcealed carry for women.Nothing comes betweena woman and her gun.Kevin: Is there any way we cansee that commercial again...like slowly ?♪♪commentator: Freeze, mister.Stick 'em up.announcer: Uh-oh, not again.The power went out.It's hard to see with thatold, weak flashlight.And if it doesn't come on soon,you're stuck holding itall night.Rachel: Come on, get ittogether, Julia Child.How hard is it to boil pastawith the lights off ?announcer: Don't keep a bunch ofold flashlights in a drawer.They never work whenyou need them.You needthe Olde Brooklyn Lantern--the vintage-style lanternwith new LED technology.John: ( bleep ) do we needlanterns for ?This is America.Not like our powerever goes off.What the ( bleep ) ?!announcer: The Olde BrooklynLantern lasts night afternight after night.Brendon: Hey, how you doin' ?I'm from Brooklyn.Are you from Brooklyn ?Are you scared of the dark ?Well, now we gotthe Brooklyn Lantern.announcer: The Olde BrooklynLantern provides a brighter,whiter light that fillsthe whole room.Leif: All right,turn that thing off.My God, that furniture's ugly.announcer: The Olde BrooklynLantern has nine ultra-brightLED bulbs that shinefor 100,000 hours.That's right, 100,000 hours.woman: I'll be dead bythe time this goes off.announcer: Perfect for thatparty on the patio...or light up the campsite.Mike T.: All right, let's justget to the part where theytell me to use it in my RV.announcer: On the road,in the RV.Mike T.: There is is, okay.announcer: The Olde BrooklynLantern has the power tolight up the night.Made of genuine metalwith an authenticantique dome.Billy: Genuine metal, you say ?Color me skeptical.announcer: Now just 12.99.But wait, call right nowand you can double your order.Mike T.: Two Brooklyn Lanterns ?That'll be great for whenthe British attack by sea.announcer: It's an amazing deal.♪♪announcer: Today, I would liketo introduce you to a veryexciting new product thataddresses a very serious issue.I am talking, of course,about EDP:eating dry popcorn.Chelsea: Is there any way we canget a nerdier voicefor the voiceover ?Someone who's definitelynever had sex.announcer: Standard layering atthe concession stand generallyleaves large portions ofthe popcorn dry.Introducing the Flavor Funnel.Our multi-tiered funneleffectively solves the problemof layering the butter evenlythroughout your bag of popcorn.Mike B.: For faster results,why don't you just insert itdirectly into your vein ?Loni: When I'm at the movies,I let them know.Put some layer of butterbefore you put the popcorn in.Then put another layerof butter.I give them instructions.You don't need no funnel.announcer: It's great for useat the movies or at home.But whatever you do,don't be like this guywe caught on camera.Kevin: And by"caught on camera,"we mean "blatantly stagedin a movie theater."man: Rick, oh !What are you doing, man ?I see you making a messover here.Dude ?Rick: I'm trying to get the popcorn butter ...all the way to the bottom of the bag.It's not working ...I'm making a mess.Ted: When your head looks likeit's that close to exploding,I don't think butterdistribution is the biggestproblem in your life.man: You know what, man, here,you know what,try my Flavor Funnel.I've got an extra one, dude.Rick: Flavor Funnel ?man: Yeah, it'll layerthe butter all the waythrough your popcorn.You don't need to doanything.Mike T.: Ho-ho, yeah, you canpour your butter in myfunnel any day.Is that weird ?man: Pour it really--Yeah, see, it goes really easyright down the four funnels.See that ?Perfectly layered butter.Rick: Sweet.man: Hey !Rick: Crap !I didn't do nothing !Brad: The fact that somebodytook the time to invent this,I'm assuming we've already curedcancer, solved global warmingand have flying cars ?announcer: It's great for useat the movies or at home.♪♪narrator: People will tryalmost anything tostop the march of time.announcer: The Luscious Lip Pumpwill make you lookten years younger.narrator: When an inventionpromises eternal youth,it doesn't matterhow ridiculous...announcer: With the Zapper,simply zap away thosespider veins.narrator: ... howembarrassing...announcer: Say goodbyeto cellulite with Magic Mud.narrator: ... or even howpainful it may be.announcer: Botox does it best.narrator: Which brings us toChina, where women are going toscary lengths to protecttheir skin.announcer: For centuries,Chinese women have beenon a quest to maintainporcelain white skin.But time on the beach makesit almost impossible.Now we have the answer:Face-Kini.Chris: This summer, scarybondage masks aren't justfor the basement.Dan: Oh, my God, I think shewas one of the monstersin "Hellraiser II."Or was it three ?commentator: It was Four.announcer: Face-Kini protectsyour face from harmfulultra-violet rays, makingbeach time safe and fun.Billy: Face-Kini can preventskin cancer by scaringskin cancer away.Brad: This is delightful.I'm ready for a dayat the beach.announcer: Face-Kini is made of100% breathable Lycraand completelycovers your head,leaving openings for the mouth,nose and eyes.Jaime: And the resultingpanda tan is just adorable.Tonya: When I go to the beach,I don't wanna look likea porpoise, thank you.( porpoise squeaking )announcer: Face-Kini isone-size-fits-alland comes in many stylesand colors to fit yourunique personality.Danny: None of which will makeyou look less crazy.announcer: Use Face-Kinifor all things in the sun.Go swim, walkor just relax.Why not ?With Face-Kini, you are covered.Chuck: Okay, if these women'sfaces are anything like theirbodies, then thank you,Face-Kini.announcer: Get yours today.Marianne: I think I'd ratherhave wrinkles, thanks.♪♪commentator: Bonus invention.announcer: Do you want to savemoney, save time, save upto 50% on groceries ?Make money from home ?All this information and so muchmore can be yours in thebrand-new "Who Knew ?" books.Kevin: Pretty specificmarketing pitch.These books can help youwith your problems if yourproblems involve...like, whatever.announcer: First, you'llreceive "Who Knew ?"with almost 400 pages filledwith over 10,001easy solutions toeveryday problems.Brendon: Well, you gotta admit,that is an everyday problem:sticky playing cards.announcer: Reuse items aroundyour home, make home repairseasier, lower energy costs,even learnGrandpa and Grandma's secret.Leif: I already learned aboutGrandma and Grandpa's secretswhen I opened up the bedroomdoor without knocking.commentator: Oh, Grandpamade a mess.announcer: Next, you'll also get"More Who Knew ?"with almost 500 pagescontaining thousandsof money-saving secrets.Todd: Instead of wearingcondoms, there's somethingcalled the rhythm method.Who knew ?announcer: And finally, you'llreceive "Beauty Secrets" thatshows you the money-saving wayto make some of the finestbeauty products availableto you for pennies.Daisy: Beauty products.Try some moisturizer.Don't squint whenyou're pooping.Who knew ?announcer: And remember,you must order nowto take advantageof our free shipping offer.So don't wait.Call or go onlineand order yours right now.Brad: Yeah, if I can go online,I'm pretty sure I don'tneed your books.narrator: Coming up...a tail from the Orient.Plus, this toilet is overflowingwith attitude.woman: Hey, little man,put the seat down.narrator: And later, what onearth is this invention for ?Brad: Oh, it's a bib forlittle baby drag queens.John: Or is it Brad's tank top ?narrator: Find out when"World's Smartest Inventions"continues.♪♪narrator: Marriage is a delicatebalance between being yourselfand not annoying your spouse.But with the right invention,couples can finda peaceful compromise.announcer: With BrightFeet,late-night trips to the bathroomwon't wake your spouse.announcer: The Better MarriageBlanket, saving your loved onesfrom those late-night emissions.narrator: Which brings us tonumber 13 on our countdown.announcer: Hey, ladies.Down here, it's me, TipAlert.See me now ?I talk to the guys in your lifeand remind them toput the seat down.Here comes one now.Watch.Okay, he's ready to leave...( commentator whistling )woman: Down, boy.( commentator cheering )man: Oh, God, how...That is the worst commercialI've ever seen.( toilet flushing )Mike T.: Just what the bathroomneeds, nagging.That way it'll matchthe rest of the house.announcer: Just pullthe power strip and stick meon the seat.If the seat doesn'tgo back down, I speak up.It's that easy.commentator: So put the seatdown, will you ?( commentator cheering )Jared: It's like KITT from"Knight Rider" if you couldpee in KITT's mouth.announcer: TipAlert is funand really works.Mike B.: I can't wait topee again.woman: Down, boy.Brad: Can I get a "please"and a "thank you," TipAlert ?God, robot toilets haveno manners.woman: Hey, little man,put the seat down.John: Call me "little man" ?I'll ( bleep ) ***all over that seat.announcer: Order now and get twoTipAlerts for the price of one.( commentator cheering )woman: Down, boy.The Greg: Ladies, it's notthat we don't remember.It's that we don't care.♪♪man: From Japan comesan exciting new invention thatdraws from the past toinfluence the future.woman: SiliFulin isa robot tailthat moves in reaction tohuman movement.This is one of the deviceart pieces by Ryota Kuwakubo,an artist who fuses artwith devices.Chuck: You know, when I saidI wanted to see a little tail,this isn't exactly whatI had in mind.Kevin: You've gotta give itto the Japanese, because theirinventions are easilythe creepiest in the world.woman: SiliFulin givespeople the opportunity to onceagain experience having tail,which is one component discardedby humans duringthe evolutionary process.Jaime: Evolution happenedfor a reason.Why turn back now ?woman: The SiliFulin is wornaround your waist justlike a *** pack.Mike T.: I thought we discarded*** packs in the evolutionaryprocess of leaving the '90s.Leif: I'm gonna wear itin the front.( commentators groaning )woman: Once the user becomesaccustomed to wearing the robot,he or she can move the tail withnatural movements that make itlook as if the user hasactually grown a tail.Jamie: Because nothing's morenatural than having suddenlygrown a tail.commentator: Okay, now,turn around, turn around.Good, good, now shake it.Ted: Mom, before you meetmy girlfriend, Suki, you shouldknow she wears analbino elephant on her ***.commentator: Sashay backand forth like that, like, uh,you know, you're a *** cat.man: SiliFulin,honor the past witha futuristic device.Mike B.: SiliFulin, that isa perfect name for this.'Cause if you go buy this( bleep ), you are a silly fool.announcer: It's happened again.The dinner party's overand you're left withan unfinished bottle of wine.You've tried plastic wrap,tin foil,even wrestling the corkback into the bottle,but nothing seems to work.Chuck: See, this is what happenswhen you designate a driver:wasted wine.announcer: Now you can stopwasting time, money and winewith Air Cork.It's the cork that you control.Just insert the Air Cork ballooninto the bottleand pump to inflate.The seal keeps air outand keeps wine in.No spills.Jamie: I think I got one ofthese for my bachelorette party.I did not put it ina wine bottle.announcer: Plus,the grape-shaped pumplooks great in any kitchen.Chelsea: Another option would beto quit drinking 'cause you'redefinitely getting a littledesperate.announcer: To release, simplypress the valve above the pumpand remove the balloon whenyou're ready to pouranother glass.♪♪Jaime: I taste the cherryand oak and...Is that latex ?announcer: Order nowand the first 100 callersget free shipping.Mike: Why don't you just polishoff the bottle, you Nancy ?♪♪announcer: If you're one ofthe people that haveextra materialon the back of your pants--maybe you have a thinnerwaistline and it never seemsto fit just right ?We have the perfect solution.It's called My *** Belt.Rachel: Is your *** so massivethat it's affecting youreveryday life ?Leif: Call me crazy.Why don't you just buya pair of pants that fit ?man: Here's Allison Vetter.Hi, Allison.Allison: Hi, John.John: Thanks for being here.Allison: Thank you.John: Now, I've been told--Now I've seen it when I've beenout but I've been told thatthat tends to be a problem areafor many women.Mike T.: Well, which oneis it, John ?Have you been toldor have you seen it ?Allison: It's definitelya problem.I know, whenever I sit down,I hate when I have a little gap.Daisy: Oh, my God.I am so sorry that happenedto you.Brad: Ladies, I think I canspeak for all straight men whenI say they don't really mindwhen they can see downyour pants.John: The only way to fixthat would probably be eitherwear a different kind of belt,or, what, maybe take it to analteration company ?Brendon: Is alteration companyeven a thing ?man: Oh, no, sir, I assure you,the alteration companyis quite real.We're a multinationalconglomerate specializingin hemming pants.John: How easy is that toput together ?Allison: Oh, it's extremelyeasy-- it just snaps.You just put it right in betweenyour belt loops, snap it around.It takes ten seconds.Just snap it in, and you're set.Jaime: What, no fashionabledesigns ?Zebra perhaps ?John: Now remember,My *** Beltcomes in different sizes.Marianne: Small, mediumand "damn, girl."John: We recommend that you getseveral of the sizes 'cause younever know exactly wherethe belt loops might bein either your jeans or a pairof slacks or shorts.Loni: This is why I keep mywaistline bigger than my ***.announcer: Order your*** Belt today.Mike B.: ♪ Pants too big ♪♪ That gap is felt ♪♪ Go and get that *** Belt ♪♪ That *** Belt ♪♪ Go on girl it's your duty ♪♪ Drop it to the ground ♪♪ And belt that *** ♪♪ Just belt that *** ♪♪narrator: Coming up...I robot...you drunks.Plus, committing multiplepesticides.And how can this makeyou feel like this ?( woman laughing )Find out when"World's Smartest Inventions"continues.♪♪narrator: We're backand inside the top ten.At number nine, it's time tojoin the swat team.announcer: Bugs, they'reeverywhere--on the deck, the porch,even in the house.What if you could finally putthese nasty pests intheir place for good.Now you can withthe revolutionaryStickySwat bug terminator.StickySwat is clean and simple.Insert a disposable Sticky trapand with an easy pull onthe trigger and a quick swoop,you'll be stopping bugsin midair.Kevin: Finally, we humans havea tactical advantage overtiny, near-brainless insects.announcer: Other products aredifficult to use and leavebehind a disgusting mess.Dan: I am physically incapableof using a normal fly swatteror rolled up newspaper to takecare of my pests.And no, ha-ha, I never madevarsity in anything.announcer: The StickySwat snagspests right out of the air--flies, bees, wasps.No matter what insect is buggingyou, the StickySwathas you covered.Marianne: Close my windows andclean my kitchen, no thanks.I'd rather be constantlykilling something.announcer: StickySwat is greatfor removing insects from wallsand ceilings too.Jared: StickySwat lets you seethe insect writhe in tortureand slowly die.commentator: Help me.announcer: StickySwat rids pestsin a germ-free mannerwith no direct contact.Daisy: I think this family mighthave better luck if they justmove that rotting cow corpseout of their room.announcer: And disposal ofthe Sticky trap is easy.Just press the release tabsand it's in the garbageand out of sight.man: StickySwat's amazing.Does this work onnagging wives ?commentator: Bryan.announcer: Order now and putbugs in their place and out ofyours with StickySwat.♪♪Neta: Hi, I'm Netaand have I got somethingfor you--the Hot-n-TidyTransport Strap.Have you ever had problemstransporting your hot dishesto a picnicor other social event ?Chelsea: Oh, I don't live inNew Jersey, but thank you.Neta: Have you ever had to wrapyour hot dish in a towelonly to have itslip out of your handsand break your dish ?Dan: Something tells me she'snever made a casserole,let alone transported one.Neta: Or how about having it siton your lap in the car or evenhave to place it onthe car floor just tohave it slide and spillall over the inside ofyour car ?Jared: This product sounds likeit's the solution to somethingthat happened to thiswoman one time.Neta: This problem disappearswith the Hot-n-TidyTransport Strap.Jaime: That's a pretty fancyname for a giant rubber band.Neta: Transport it now safely,even with one hand.Brendon: This is great for whenyou're delivering that casseroleto your grandma's house and youonly wanna use one hand.You know what I mean ?Neta: The cover stays in place.No more spills.Just a peace of mind knowingyour food gets to where it needsto be safely and spill-free.Ted: Who hauls hot foodeverywhere in their potsand pans ?What are these people, gypsies ?Neta: You can also carry...fireplace wood...laptops,and even awkward boxes.Rachel: You can also carrysevered heads...water bongs...and Danny Bonaduce.Danny: Hey, sweet ***.Neta: What are you waiting for ?Order your Hot-n-Tidy TransportStrap and feel confident thatyour food will get to where itneeds to be, ready to serve.Marianne: Nah, I buy Tupperware.Solves all these problems.And it was invented a long timeago so we all knows about it.But good luck.♪♪narrator: Nothing is morerelaxing than kicking backwith an ice cold beer.And through the years,countless inventions have madethe beer-drinking processeven easier.announcer: You'll never loseyour beer again withthe Beer Pager.man: Nice.narrator: From this...announcer: Beerbelly, the firstever portable beer dispenser.narrator: ...to this.commentator: Now withthe Redneck Beer Holster,you can fish and drink.narrator: And with our nextinvention, you won't evenhave to lift a finger.announcer: Beer is great,but opening the canis such a pain.You can break a nail on thosetricky little tabs,or end up spraying beereverywhere.If you're sick of the struggle,a team of Japanese researchershave found your solution:The Asahi Robocco BeerBot.This mini robotstores up to sixcans of beer in itsrefrigerated belly.Kevin: So he's a lightweight.The Greg: Party, Will Robinson.Party, party.announcer: When you're ready fora drink, just pressthe red buttonand the BeerBot will opena can and dispense a beerinto a mug.( robot speaking Japanese )Brad: While I'm waiting fora beer, I might as well learnto play the guitar.Let's see..."A"-"A"-"A"-"A.""E"-"E"-"E."♪♪♪♪Is my beer ready yet ?( robot speaking Japanese )Still no ?Okay.Jaime: Ah, that robot givesmore head than Marianne...when she bartends.( robot speaking Japanese )Billy: How much does thisperfect woman-- I mean,beer-pouring robot cost ?announcer: The Asahi RoboccoBeerBot can be yoursfor just $799.Mike B.: That is an expensivecan opener.announcer: The Asahi RoboccoBeerBot, the perfect bartender.John: Man, this ( bleep ) newguy, he's taking all my tips.He doesn't even do this.What the ( bleep ) ?!( robot speaking Japanese )announcer: You love yourhusband.But let's face it...man: Ooh.announcer: ...boys will be boys.man: How you doing, baby ?announcer: Slipping off thatwedding ring is so easy, right ?man: Yeah.announcer: Not anymore.With the Anti-Cheating Ring,you've got nothing to fear.woman: Put it on.announcer: This revolutionarywedding band is made fromjewelry-grade-strengthenedtitanium and features our uniquenegative engraving.Jaime: Express your loveand your lack of trust.Brad: You could buy this ringor you could just not marrya cheating *** bag.announcer: Never again willhe forget his vows.And you don't have to worryabout another woman claimingshe didn't realizehe was yours.woman: Oh...Jerk.Jared: This may come as a shock,but there are people out therewho will have sex witha married person.And they're going to hell,but they are out there.announcer: Order now, and fora limited time only,get the Anti-Cheating Ringfor just teneasy payments of $54.99.The Greg: You know whatalso works.Losing 30 poundsand dressing like youstill give a ( bleep ).announcer: Because whenyou say, "'Til death do uspart," you mean it.And withthe Anti-Cheating Ring,so will he.Mike T.: If the Anti-CheatingRing is the only thing keepingyou and your husband together,I think it's time to part ways.That or have kids.I hear that fixes things.narrator: And now for yoursecond bonus invention.announcer: Those winter nightsin bed can be a real burden.Blankets keep you warmbut did you know that80% of your body's heatescapes through your head ?Hats are too much but nothingelse seems to do the trick.Until now.HoodiePillow to the rescue.The first pillow withits very own hood.Loni: Haven't we had enoughproblems with hoodies ?announcer: Our patented designis crafted from the finestcotton and includes drawstrings,so you'll always havea custom snuggly fit.Jaime: I've always thought mypillow would be so much morecomfortable if it wereattached to me.Mike T.: Finally, I can getsome shut-eye while my coolerroommate hangs outwith his friends.announcer: Use HoodiePillowwhile reading, watching TVor even on the go.Jamie: Reading or watching TV,sure, but on the go ?People might see you.announcer: Onlythe HoodiePillow can provide"cocoonification," helping youblock the stressesof the outside world.Brad: "Cocoonification" is nota word, and it soundsmildly racist.announcer: So what are youwaiting for ?Get your very ownHoodiePillow today.narrator: Coming up:Wait 'til you get windof this invention.( woman screaming )Plus, round and round it goes.commentator: Magic ?Maybe.narrator: What it does,nobody knows.And still guessing.Kevin: All right, so this is forsomeone who worksin a strip club but alsois about to eat lobster.Billy: Okay, I'll bite.What the ( bleep ) is it ?narrator: Find out when"World's Smartest Inventions"continues.♪♪narrator: We're back tothe countdown.And at number five,prepare to be blown away.announcer: Let's face it,the wind blowsand blow and blows.You have an umbrella forprotection from the windand sun but watch out.A flapping in the wind, wild,crazy tumbling umbrellawill ruin your day.But not anymore.Introducing WhatWind.The new way to never worry aboutwind again.Mike T.: Can you say"white people problems" ?Vinnie: Hi, I'm Vinnie Minasi.My family and I lovethe outdoors.That's why I invented WhatWind,the most effective umbrellastabilizer ever.announcer: WhatWind issuper easy to use.Just add sand or rocks or dirtto the base or loopto your table.Then loop, loop and loop againand you'll have perfectprotection that's easy, safeand secure.The Greg: Then you tie a halyardknot and you pull that intoa bowline, and you close it offwith a farmer's hitch.Easy.announcer: WhatWind is superstrong and guaranteed to hold.Look at this actual video ofWhatWind holding tight duringHurricane Irene.Wow.Billy: Thanks to the WhatWind,our family is enjoying hurricaneseason much more this year.Rachel: The tornado's growing.Help.Where's the WhatWind ?Mike T.: Someone help me !announcer: Use WhatWind on yourpatio, at the beach, camping,picnics and flea markets.And ho, ho, ho, WhatWind isperfect for holiday decorationsso they don'tblow, blow, blow away.Mike B.: "Oh, no, all my Kwanzadecorations are blowing away."Said no one on Long Island.Vinnie: I personally guaranteeyour WhatWind will always holdor your money back.Brendon: Give me a call when youinvent a product that keeps mywife from blowing my neighbor.Vinnie: No matter how windy itis outside, you can always useWhatWind and havea beautiful day.Brad: You know, based onthe name, I assumed thiswas gonna be a fart product.I'm a little disappointed.announcer: Summer turns yourshoes into a hot, sticky swamp.You wanna take them off,but what about that smell ?♪♪You've tried smelly spraysand messy powdersto keep your feetfeeling fresh,but nothing works.Now there's a clean and easy wayto cool your feat:Thanko USB Foot Cooler.It's a state-of-the-artcooling system that fitsright into your shoe.Rachel: How can I fix thisrancid odor while alienatingmyself further from others ?announcer: Just strapthe flexible tube to your legand slip one end into your shoe.A small pump blows cooling airright under your feet.The Greg: It's so simple, evena mechanical engineer can do it.announcer: A USB cable lets youpower the fan with your mobiledevice when you're out or witha computer when you're at work.No batteries required.Jared: Yeah, hey, sorry,my phone's almost dead.I've been using it tocool my feet.To cool my feet.announcer: Tired of sticky whitedeodorant ruining your clothes ?You can even strap the tube toyour arm and cool your armpit.No more mess.Danny: If I'm using this on myarmpits, I hope peoplemistake me for a drug addict.That would be less embarrassing.announcer: Sweaty shoes and feetaren't your problem anymore.Summer's a breeze withthe USB foot cooler.Daisy: I am really excited aboutthis product.I'm prepared to give anytestimonial.But I will only be using iton my crotch.♪♪announcer: You've just leftthe hairdresser and your new cutlooks great.Your hair feels fantasticbut something's not right.It's those prickly bits of hairthat annoy you after everysingle cut, that stick to yourface and makeup and lastfor the whole evening.Facewand stops that fromever happening again.Facewand's unique disposableand transparent shield protectsyour face from those annoyingitchy bits of hair that cancover your face duringan appointment.Danny: The Facewand,or as like to call it,protection fromthe money shot.Mike T.: This is good for me'cause I've never gottena haircut from a barber thatdidn't smell.woman: I can't breathe.I'm suffocating.announcer: It's simple,it's revolutionary...Brad: The personal computerwas revolutionary.This is a windshieldfor your face.Chelsea: Here's my Facewand.Okay, ready to go.announcer: Facewand can makelooking sensational and feelingsensational so easy to achieve.Bryan: Not only do I not getmy hair on my face,but now I canplay around with beehives.Todd: I use mine at salad barsas a personal sneeze guard.I just don't trust myself.( sneezing )announcer: Facewand.Order now for just 39.95.John: Costs more thanthe ( bleep ) haircut.Give me a ( bleep ) break.man: You're about to bemesmerized.all: Fushigi !♪♪Tim: Hi, I'm Tim Goeweyand this is Fushigi.We're gonna show you how tounlock the secrets of Fushigi,the magic gravity ball.The Greg: It's a ballthat works like a ball.Tim: No strings, no tricks.Magic ?Maybe.You can make Fushigi defygravity and appear tofloat in midair.Daisy: Whoa, it's staying upin the air 'causeI'm holding it there.Jaime: Thank God there's a newtoy for guys with ponytails'cause devil sticks are so done.Tim: Young or old,big or small.Anyone can Fushigi--with maneuvers likethe prayer cross,the enigma, levitationand so many more.Even control more than oneFushigi at a time.You can do this.Mike B.: Great, now I can playwith my balls and entertain myfriends at the same time.Brad: Aren't there supposed tobe like six more of theseattached to a rope...sold in an adult store ?Just saying.Tim: Everyone loves Fushigi.woman: This is so amazing.man: It's sick, it's so muchfun, I love it.Ted: With this pasty nerdsvouching for it, I'm in.Daisy: I love it !Hey, you're paying usin weed, right ?woman: Fushigi.I don't know what it isbut it's the coolest thing everand I can do it.Brendon: There's a ponytail guydoing what ?Put his balls on you ?Come home, get out of thatstupid park.Tim: And when you order, we'llsend you a free DVD that willteach your everything you needto know to unlock the secretsof Fushigi.Brad: What kid doesn't wanta toy that comes witha two-hour instructional DVD ?Tim: It's sweeping the nation.It's Fushigi !Mike T.: I'm almost ready to buythis but you gotta show meat least one black guy.man: Fushigi.Mike T.: Sold.all: Fushigi !narrator: You've just bought19 of the most groundbreakinggizmos of all time.( robot speaking Japanese )But wait.There's one more.announcer: Call right nowand you can double your order.narrator: The most clevercontraption is still to come.commentator: So put the seatdown, will ya ?narrator: Find out what it iswhen "World's SmartestInventions" continues.♪♪narrator: We've reached the topspot in our countdown,and it's time to solvea gigantic mystery.Our panelists have takentheir guesses.Mike T.: I have no idea whatthis is for,but I bet I'm gonnafeel weird that I'm touching itin a few seconds.narrator: And we're about toreveal the purpose of thisinvention.♪♪announcer: Luxury.A man deserves luxury in everypart of his day.Craftsmanship.The discerning gentlemen settlesfor nothing but the best.Comfort.A man wants to feelas good as he looks.Man Bib.An everyday luxury item.Rachel: Man Bib ?Mike B.: Are you serious ?man: Yup.Mike B.: This is toput around here ?Chuck: Let me take this( bleep ) off.Loni: ( laughing )Y'all so nasty.We are so nasty.announcer: Stylishand machine washable.Man Bib fits easily into yourlife, but feelsspecial any time you use it.Daisy: Oh, okay, so you usethe Man Bib for...Okay, can someone get mea lady napkinfor my woman barf ?announcer: One size fits all,but you'll feel like it wasmade just for you.John: What the ( bleep ) iswrong with socks ?I mean, they've worked for( bleep ) years.Brad: This is gonna chaff,ladies and gentlemen.Mike T.: This is good, 'causewhenever I feed my ( bleep )baby food, it just getseverywhere.announcer: Practical,yet luxurious.Man Bib makes any occasiona special occasion.Kevin: This'll be fora very special ***.announcer: Men everywhere arecoming to the same conclusion:Just because you're alonedoesn't mean there'sno one to impress.Brendon: And if you order yourMan Bib now, you'll get a mandiaper so you can poop atthe same time, you filthy pig.announcer: Man Bib, for the manwho has the world inthe palm of his hand.Man Bib.Chelsea: Man Bibs-- great idea.JK.Just do it in the shower andstop wasting everyone's time.Thank you.Mike B.: ♪ Pants too big ♪♪ That gap is felt ♪♪ Go and get that *** belt ♪Jared: Why ?Brad: There we go, that's nice.woman: Shut up !John: Yuk.And there's stains on it.Chuck: Oh.Mike T.: What ?Oh...Mike B.: ♪ That *** Belt ♪( Brad blowing raspberry )♪ That *** Belt ♪♪Mike T.: No more.Brendon: I eat bugs.The Greg: Men are awesome.Chuck: *** !Oh, ***, you shot me.Daisy: It's moving.Jared: Why ?Rachel: I'll just plug up thisvino before I go slip intosomething more comfortable.( popping )woman: Oh, it popped.( Rachel laughing )